Ba Ba, Black Sheep

I always thought I was the black sheep in my family. I mean, we disagree on all the biggies -- Politics, Religion, Money. And our recent visit to my mom's confirms it. It was like someone rewound to 10 years ago and I was living at home again.

I tried to think of a humorous way to recap the weekend, but I just couldn't come up with anything. Here is a small portion of the weekend that I think best shows my place in the family.

When my parents were still married, they bought me a bocce ball set on one of their trips to Europe. I remember as a little girl playing bocce ball and enjoying it. A few years ago, I asked my mom (before they moved to their current house) if I could have the set. She said that they still used it, and since my brother was still living at home, I said okay that I would leave it with them.

Well, now my brother is away at school, so I asked my mom during this visit if the bocce ball set was at their current house or the old house (that's another long story best saved for another day :-) and if it was there, could I have it.

My mom dug around in the boxes of the coat closet, brought out my very dusty bocce ball set, and gave it to me. I was thrilled.

Then she went and told my step-father that she had given it to me.

Mom: "I gave Marie her bocce ball set. The one that we had bought for her in Europe years ago. We don't use it anymore, right?"

Step-father's reply: "We used it a couple of picnics."

Mom: "Oh, is it okay if I give it to her?"

Step-father: "I guess."

I couldn't understand his hestiation. The set was bought by my parents over 25 years ago for me. Why shouldn't I have it?

I know with all the problems in the world that a bocce ball set is not a big deal, but this is just one example of the battles that I go through every time that I see them. (In fact, we had a shortened version of the same conversation when I tried to take my Mickey Mouse lamp. I mean, really. What grown 52-year-old man needs a Mickey Mouse lamp in his bedroom?)

Several times this weekend, I started talking and suddenly it was like I wasn't even there. People started talking around me about a completely different topic. If there is something that I don't like (or that I think I am allergic to like this past visit), then you can be sure that will be for dinner.

No wonder I feel like the black sheep. (At least, I am not alone. My step-brother is a black sheep too. :0)

What made the "black sheepism" more obvious was when we visited Brian's grandmother's on Sunday. It was Brian's grandmother, great aunt, mom, brother, and us. Brian and I have only been married for 6.5 years, and I still felt more like part of their family than I did with my own. We played games together. We watched TV together. His grandmother and great aunt wanted to make sure that I had something on the table that I could eat.

It makes me sad that I can't be closer to my mom, but at the same time, it makes me very appreciative of Brian's folks and my dad. I wouldn't give them up for anything.